Award Winning Essay with The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

This Essay won an award for teaching people about death and dying from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. Teri was 44 and I was 38 during her hospice care. I saw Terri every Thursday for about a year. Upon arriving to her house her bed was in the living room. It was a little house, and when I arrived Terri was quiet and seemed like she just needed a girlfriend. She was checking me out, [...]

By | 2017-11-06T19:25:29+00:00 November 3rd, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on Award Winning Essay with The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

You Did The Best You Could

Written for opentohope.com There is something very important I want to share with you, so listen deep. As a bereavement counselor I speak with numerous people on a daily basis about loss. The number one thing I feel from people is guilt.  The words pour out of them, “If I hadn’t take them to the hospital…” or “What if I hadn’t put him in a nursing home?” “I should have called her more.” Let me tell you [...]

By | 2017-12-01T08:29:43+00:00 December 1st, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on You Did The Best You Could

Acceptance Or Letting Go?

Written for opentohope.com I pick Acceptance.  It makes me cringe if I am in a conversation with someone who is grieving or missing a loved one in any way shape or form and I hear the words, it’s time to let go or you need to let go. I am sure their intentions come from a loving place. There is a time to let go of some things in our lives and grief is not one of [...]

By | 2017-12-01T08:24:17+00:00 December 1st, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on Acceptance Or Letting Go?

Why Does It Hurt So Much?

Written for opentohope.com Grieving people usually don’t ask directly: Why does it hurt so much? But I see that it hurts; I hurt like that. It hurts because you loved. You were connected to another human being heart to heart. It hurts. Death hurts a lot when we love like this. This hurt causes an incredible amount of suffering that hopefully this article may help you with. Recently, watching the suffering of a mother losing her child, a sister [...]

By | 2017-12-01T07:48:01+00:00 December 1st, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on Why Does It Hurt So Much?

The Holidays: Helping Seniors Grieve A Lifetime Of Marriage

Written for opentohope.com How can I face the holidays without my true love, my one and only love? A gentleman I recently visited is facing his first Christmas without his beloved. Enter gently and you may be able to bring peace to a broken heart. The caregiver warns me that he is very grumpy. Please don’t take it personally, and please don’t tell him you’re from hospice.  I’m used to this. I have learned to kneel to approach a [...]

By | 2017-12-01T07:41:24+00:00 December 1st, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on The Holidays: Helping Seniors Grieve A Lifetime Of Marriage

Loneliness, Being Alone, Lonesome

Written for opentohope.com I am so sorry for your loss.  There is one feeling that I don’t see discussed much and that is the loneliness that comes with grief. There is a feeling in the heart that makes us feel like we are walking in this world totally alone. It doesn’t matter who we are with. Whether it is a concert, an intimate party with friends, sports events or even the simplest of things like grocery shopping, [...]

By | 2017-12-01T07:34:12+00:00 December 1st, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on Loneliness, Being Alone, Lonesome

Where Do They Go?

Written for opentohope.com Recently, I have received phone calls from dear friends who have lost people they love. Lost. That word, it is so final, but do we really know? Still, there is that empty space of where are they? What’s it like? Are they happy and safe? It is so difficult to wrap our human brain around death. I believe that we do get signs. After 20-plus years working in hospice, helping the living and the [...]

By | 2017-12-01T07:26:54+00:00 December 1st, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on Where Do They Go?

Slowly Dying

Senseki: At last I am leaving: in rainless skies, a cool moon... pure is my heart It is Thursday, my day to visit a 92-year-old man as his hospice volunteer.  My visit is a labor of love that I have treasured for the past 15 years. To me, there is no greater service than to visit him, love him, and keep him company in his last days. I pull up to the assisted living facility and I [...]

By | 2017-11-06T19:25:54+00:00 November 3rd, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on Slowly Dying

The Wisdom in Forgiveness

There are people who enter our lives and impact us in a profound way, and recently there was a beautiful young man with light green eyes, and a brilliant smile, who entered my life for only a short time but made such an impact on me. He came into my life through a class I was teaching about death and dying at a local high school. It was one of the basic classes about what to say [...]

By | 2017-11-06T19:26:20+00:00 November 3rd, 2017|GRIEF COUNSELING|Comments Off on The Wisdom in Forgiveness